So, we made a special order for a cabinet from the Home Depot about a month ago. We paid enough for it to expect decent treatment, but first, it took a month for them to deliver it. Second, a box turned up missing. A $400 box. When I called them about it, they said the delivery was signed for, so it's not their problem. I told them we received a delivery, yes, but a box was missing. They basically said, "Sorry, you signed for it." Seriously? Do companies actually operate like this? I paid $400 for an item that I have not received, and you're just going to say, "Your problem, not mine."
If only I were a newspaper columnist who could threaten bad publicity. =D The thought makes me grin with mischief. I could probably get my way pretty quickly and easily if I had that job.
Alas, I am reminded that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, and princes of the dark places (like Home Depot.) So, I'll pray about it before I go give them a piece of my mind.
I'm about the business of raising godly children. So far, God has blessed us with six of them! My husband owns his own business, and I'm fortunate enough to stay at home with the kiddos. If you're looking for deep philosophy on this blog, you're out of luck. If you'd prefer random tales of childhood tomfoolery, stick around!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Big decisions
Here's the big news: We have decided to have a homebirth.
I'm thrilled about the opportunity, and here's why: I've had some very normal births with some very offensive hospital policies and practices. With the exception of the twins' birth, all my births could have been accomplished at home. I know every birth is different, and that's why we spent much time in prayer about the decision.
With Saja's birth in North Carolina, a midwife delivered her in a hospital. I had told her how desperately I wanted to avoid an epidural because of the statistical connection between epidurals and c-sections in first births, and she actually talked me out of it when the pain became so unbearable. She offered Stadol, which took the edge off the contractions, and also allowed me to walk around at the end of my labor to finish off dilation.
Also during this birth, I heard, "Push! Push! Push!" until I actually pushed, and then, for the first time ever, I heard, "Stop pushing!" What? Since when do they tell a woman delivering a child to STOP pushing? I thought I must have heard wrong--I was on drugs, after all, so I ignored her. She caught Saja bare-handed, and I ended up with stitches. So that's why she said, "Stop pushing!"
During my second child's birth, I had moved to the Memphis area where midwives do not deliver in hospitals. I chose a single-doctor practice and gave him my very conservative birth plan, to which he reacted favorably. I started labor two weeks early and spent the majority of my labor at home, walking around the block or around the house for hours, eating grapes and drinking orange juice for energy, and bouncing on the birthing ball.
When the contractions became more unmanageable, we headed to the hospital, where they told me I was 9 cm. They loaded up my room with medical students without my consent, laid me out flat on a bed, and watched in disappointment as my contractions slowed down. I asked to walk around, and they told me no. I asked to bounce on the ball, and they said, "You're in the best position to have this baby." (What they meant was, "You're in the best position for US when you have this baby." No midwife would tell you that lying flat on your back is the best way to get a baby to descend and deliver.)
Finally, the last straw broke when Tanya, the nurse from the hot place, told me my fever "was cooking the baby" and I would probably need a c-section so I should just suck it up and get an epidural now. She proceeded to move to the foot of the bed (the business end of things, if you will) and gossip with the doctor about which nurses were shacking up with which doctors. I am not kidding. I thought I would punch her. They made everyone leave for the epidural except my doula, my mom, and my husband. Kora was born about 10 minutes after the epidural.
During my third child's birth at the same hospital with the same doctor, I also labored at home. When we arrived at the hospital, they refused to let my husband come back to triage with me because of the "Safe Haven" policy, where they ask if a woman has been abused. I told them at registration I wanted to waive that right and have my husband by my side the whole time. They said no.
I obeyed, went to triage alone, and when they saw how far along I was, they moved into high speed. I asked time and again for my husband, and it took them 45 minutes to comply. By that time, I had asked to forego the IV without medical indication, and they basically said that I had to have one, or they would make me leave. Seriously? I'm 9 cm and you're going to make me have the child in the lobby?? Whatever. But when Chris finally got back there, the nurses had blown two IV sticks, and he was so angry he was shaking. I still have nerve pinges occasionally from that blown attempt.
Finally, the doctor came into the room in a terrible mood, broke my water without asking or telling me he was doing it, and then turned on the television and turned around to watch it while I was pushing. I never felt the sensation to push with any of these children. They told me to push, and I did, and I burst capillaries in my eyes because of it.
The twins' birth went fine because I did it the way the hospitals and doctors wanted. I came in with mild contractions at 2 or 3 cm. They gave me an IV and pitocin. I lay in bed for 6 hours with no progress. They broke my water. I had an epidural. Three hours later, Tobias and Tyler were born. This was the first time I felt the pushing sensation, because the doctor wasn't in the room yet, and they were yelling, "Don't push!" (I obeyed this time!) It was a fine experience, and I have no complaints, except that the hospital charged us for an extra day in the nursery because Tobias was born at 11:59pm. He wasn't even IN the nursery until the next day, but they went ahead and got their $1500 because they could. Also, they made me choose only one person to stay in the room during the epidural, because it was hospital policy. How amusing that it wasn't hospital policy two years prior!
After all that complaining, I do want to reiterate that I appreciate doctors and hospitals, because they do save lives, both of mothers and babies, when medical intervention is necessary. It just seems that in many cases, doctors and hospitals do things that are most convenient for them, not for the patient. I'm excited about the opportunity to have a medical attendant at my birth who is most concerned about what is best for me and my baby, not for their building or their schedule. (My doctor with the twins had 13 c-sections scheduled for the day. That's why she broke my water at 9pm instead of earlier.)
We feel like God has led us in this direction and will continue praying for a safe, healthy, easy delivery and an encouraging story for families everywhere who have the same desires for themselves as we do.
I'm thrilled about the opportunity, and here's why: I've had some very normal births with some very offensive hospital policies and practices. With the exception of the twins' birth, all my births could have been accomplished at home. I know every birth is different, and that's why we spent much time in prayer about the decision.
With Saja's birth in North Carolina, a midwife delivered her in a hospital. I had told her how desperately I wanted to avoid an epidural because of the statistical connection between epidurals and c-sections in first births, and she actually talked me out of it when the pain became so unbearable. She offered Stadol, which took the edge off the contractions, and also allowed me to walk around at the end of my labor to finish off dilation.
Also during this birth, I heard, "Push! Push! Push!" until I actually pushed, and then, for the first time ever, I heard, "Stop pushing!" What? Since when do they tell a woman delivering a child to STOP pushing? I thought I must have heard wrong--I was on drugs, after all, so I ignored her. She caught Saja bare-handed, and I ended up with stitches. So that's why she said, "Stop pushing!"
During my second child's birth, I had moved to the Memphis area where midwives do not deliver in hospitals. I chose a single-doctor practice and gave him my very conservative birth plan, to which he reacted favorably. I started labor two weeks early and spent the majority of my labor at home, walking around the block or around the house for hours, eating grapes and drinking orange juice for energy, and bouncing on the birthing ball.
When the contractions became more unmanageable, we headed to the hospital, where they told me I was 9 cm. They loaded up my room with medical students without my consent, laid me out flat on a bed, and watched in disappointment as my contractions slowed down. I asked to walk around, and they told me no. I asked to bounce on the ball, and they said, "You're in the best position to have this baby." (What they meant was, "You're in the best position for US when you have this baby." No midwife would tell you that lying flat on your back is the best way to get a baby to descend and deliver.)
Finally, the last straw broke when Tanya, the nurse from the hot place, told me my fever "was cooking the baby" and I would probably need a c-section so I should just suck it up and get an epidural now. She proceeded to move to the foot of the bed (the business end of things, if you will) and gossip with the doctor about which nurses were shacking up with which doctors. I am not kidding. I thought I would punch her. They made everyone leave for the epidural except my doula, my mom, and my husband. Kora was born about 10 minutes after the epidural.
During my third child's birth at the same hospital with the same doctor, I also labored at home. When we arrived at the hospital, they refused to let my husband come back to triage with me because of the "Safe Haven" policy, where they ask if a woman has been abused. I told them at registration I wanted to waive that right and have my husband by my side the whole time. They said no.
I obeyed, went to triage alone, and when they saw how far along I was, they moved into high speed. I asked time and again for my husband, and it took them 45 minutes to comply. By that time, I had asked to forego the IV without medical indication, and they basically said that I had to have one, or they would make me leave. Seriously? I'm 9 cm and you're going to make me have the child in the lobby?? Whatever. But when Chris finally got back there, the nurses had blown two IV sticks, and he was so angry he was shaking. I still have nerve pinges occasionally from that blown attempt.
Finally, the doctor came into the room in a terrible mood, broke my water without asking or telling me he was doing it, and then turned on the television and turned around to watch it while I was pushing. I never felt the sensation to push with any of these children. They told me to push, and I did, and I burst capillaries in my eyes because of it.
The twins' birth went fine because I did it the way the hospitals and doctors wanted. I came in with mild contractions at 2 or 3 cm. They gave me an IV and pitocin. I lay in bed for 6 hours with no progress. They broke my water. I had an epidural. Three hours later, Tobias and Tyler were born. This was the first time I felt the pushing sensation, because the doctor wasn't in the room yet, and they were yelling, "Don't push!" (I obeyed this time!) It was a fine experience, and I have no complaints, except that the hospital charged us for an extra day in the nursery because Tobias was born at 11:59pm. He wasn't even IN the nursery until the next day, but they went ahead and got their $1500 because they could. Also, they made me choose only one person to stay in the room during the epidural, because it was hospital policy. How amusing that it wasn't hospital policy two years prior!
After all that complaining, I do want to reiterate that I appreciate doctors and hospitals, because they do save lives, both of mothers and babies, when medical intervention is necessary. It just seems that in many cases, doctors and hospitals do things that are most convenient for them, not for the patient. I'm excited about the opportunity to have a medical attendant at my birth who is most concerned about what is best for me and my baby, not for their building or their schedule. (My doctor with the twins had 13 c-sections scheduled for the day. That's why she broke my water at 9pm instead of earlier.)
We feel like God has led us in this direction and will continue praying for a safe, healthy, easy delivery and an encouraging story for families everywhere who have the same desires for themselves as we do.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Attached to the old
Today, I sold a beat-up old dresser with a fold-down desktop on Craigslist. I was proud of myself for getting the $20 back that we put into it last year when we bought it for the girls' room. Since we're moving into a furnished house, we don't need all our furniture, and I am thrilled that the girls will have a matching four-poster cherry bedroom suite. They're old enough to enjoy it and to keep it nice.
However, when Chris dragged the dresser out into the living room, Saja caught wind of our intentions. She kissed her dresser good-bye and then broke into tears. I had no idea she was so attached to it!
It is missing a handle. The fold-down desktop is no longer attached. The knob needs to be replaced. The drawers don't stop, but frequently fall out on the floor, scattering her clothes everywhere! A tic-tac-toe game is inscribed on one side of it. (I don't know if that's their doing or not. We did buy it used.)
Yet Saja refused any comfort from the one who snatched her most beloved treasure from her bedroom and sold it (to a missionary, none-the-less.) No amount of begging, reasoning, or bribing could stop the tears. I, against my better judgment, offered to buy her a brand spankin' new one for her birthday.
She said, "I don't want a new one. I don't even want one just like it. I want THAT one."
Her mood improved after I showed her a picture of a similar dresser that she would have in her room in our new home that even matched her bedroom suite. And Kora prayed at lunch that Saja wouldn't have a bad mood all day long.
The point is, it struck me how often we can do that exact same thing with the Lord Jesus. Perhaps he may want to offer us a brand, new dresser that has all its handles and pieces and never spills, but we tend to hang on to the familiar, regardless of its flaws and faults. It could be your job, your role in your family, your friends, how you spend your time, or even your attitude.
In the end, I told Saja, "I am the mom, and I get to make the decisions." In truth, God is waiting for us to make the decision to let go of that which displeases Him and embrace the fullness of the riches of His grace that He has awaiting us.
However, when Chris dragged the dresser out into the living room, Saja caught wind of our intentions. She kissed her dresser good-bye and then broke into tears. I had no idea she was so attached to it!
It is missing a handle. The fold-down desktop is no longer attached. The knob needs to be replaced. The drawers don't stop, but frequently fall out on the floor, scattering her clothes everywhere! A tic-tac-toe game is inscribed on one side of it. (I don't know if that's their doing or not. We did buy it used.)
Yet Saja refused any comfort from the one who snatched her most beloved treasure from her bedroom and sold it (to a missionary, none-the-less.) No amount of begging, reasoning, or bribing could stop the tears. I, against my better judgment, offered to buy her a brand spankin' new one for her birthday.
She said, "I don't want a new one. I don't even want one just like it. I want THAT one."
Her mood improved after I showed her a picture of a similar dresser that she would have in her room in our new home that even matched her bedroom suite. And Kora prayed at lunch that Saja wouldn't have a bad mood all day long.
The point is, it struck me how often we can do that exact same thing with the Lord Jesus. Perhaps he may want to offer us a brand, new dresser that has all its handles and pieces and never spills, but we tend to hang on to the familiar, regardless of its flaws and faults. It could be your job, your role in your family, your friends, how you spend your time, or even your attitude.
In the end, I told Saja, "I am the mom, and I get to make the decisions." In truth, God is waiting for us to make the decision to let go of that which displeases Him and embrace the fullness of the riches of His grace that He has awaiting us.
Monday, August 23, 2010
My love/hate relationship with my dentist
Carbocaine. The "pregnant" version of lidocaine, the numbing agent shot into your gums just before you go under the drill at the dentist's office.
Carbocaine is to lidocaine as tylenol is to ibuprofen. In other words, it doesn't work as well at its intended purpose, but for some reason, dentists feel like it's safer for pregnant women.
Last week, my dentist, Dr. Wilson, told me I had a new cavity in my wisdom tooth that needed a filling, as well as a leaking filling in a lower molar. I knew something was wrong for the sensitivity I had been having, and I was unwilling to wait 5 months until after the baby's birth to fix them, so I consented to two fillings at 8am on a Monday morning.
I mean!
If you are one of those people who hates Mondays, just remind yourself as you're sipping on your coffee every Monday morning that you could be drooling on yourself in the dentist's chair this morning, were God not so gracious to you.
Two applications of topical anesthesia goop, two shots of carbocaine, two shots of lidocaine, and lots of drilling. By the time he finished the first filling, the tingling sensation of feeling returning to my mouth concerned me, and sure enough, the drilling in the second tooth sent an uncomfortable shiver sensation through my spine. Dr. Wilson certainly obliged when I asked for another shot, but I think he finished the filling before the medicine made a difference.
Sadly, this meant I endured the apprehension of a possible zinger sensation, but become substantially numb at the grocery store after my appointment.
I do love dentists. I simply cannot live with the pain of cavities or abscesses, but I can't say that I enjoy my time in the chair.
Especially on a Monday.
Carbocaine is to lidocaine as tylenol is to ibuprofen. In other words, it doesn't work as well at its intended purpose, but for some reason, dentists feel like it's safer for pregnant women.
Last week, my dentist, Dr. Wilson, told me I had a new cavity in my wisdom tooth that needed a filling, as well as a leaking filling in a lower molar. I knew something was wrong for the sensitivity I had been having, and I was unwilling to wait 5 months until after the baby's birth to fix them, so I consented to two fillings at 8am on a Monday morning.
I mean!
If you are one of those people who hates Mondays, just remind yourself as you're sipping on your coffee every Monday morning that you could be drooling on yourself in the dentist's chair this morning, were God not so gracious to you.
Two applications of topical anesthesia goop, two shots of carbocaine, two shots of lidocaine, and lots of drilling. By the time he finished the first filling, the tingling sensation of feeling returning to my mouth concerned me, and sure enough, the drilling in the second tooth sent an uncomfortable shiver sensation through my spine. Dr. Wilson certainly obliged when I asked for another shot, but I think he finished the filling before the medicine made a difference.
Sadly, this meant I endured the apprehension of a possible zinger sensation, but become substantially numb at the grocery store after my appointment.
I do love dentists. I simply cannot live with the pain of cavities or abscesses, but I can't say that I enjoy my time in the chair.
Especially on a Monday.
Friday, August 20, 2010
New blog title?
I have been remiss in sharing the news with my blog community.
We're expecting.
Number 6.
(Not numbers 6 and 7! The first question people ask me is, "Are you sure it's not twins again?" And the second is, "Have you seen that show about the Duggars?" Listen, having six kids is nowhere NEAR having 19 kids and Counting!)
Still, I feel like this new addition mandates a blog title change. While yes, I did have five under five, in January, I will have six under age 8, which doesn't have the same ring to it.
I'm thinking:
"Not the Duggars."
We're expecting.
Number 6.
(Not numbers 6 and 7! The first question people ask me is, "Are you sure it's not twins again?" And the second is, "Have you seen that show about the Duggars?" Listen, having six kids is nowhere NEAR having 19 kids and Counting!)
Still, I feel like this new addition mandates a blog title change. While yes, I did have five under five, in January, I will have six under age 8, which doesn't have the same ring to it.
I'm thinking:
"Not the Duggars."
Saja's got talent
Me: "Who wants grape juice?"
Saja: "I prefer water. I'm talented."
Me: (puzzled) "You're talented?"
Saja: "At spilling drinks, if you know what I mean."
Two minutes later, her ice water hit the floor... and the table... and the chair... and Saja's lap.
Thank God for good judgment in a six-year-old that helped me stay a little bit more sane today.
Saja: "I prefer water. I'm talented."
Me: (puzzled) "You're talented?"
Saja: "At spilling drinks, if you know what I mean."
Two minutes later, her ice water hit the floor... and the table... and the chair... and Saja's lap.
Thank God for good judgment in a six-year-old that helped me stay a little bit more sane today.
The one CSR who works the phones for Home Depot
So, we're remodeling a bathroom. It costs a lot, but we budgeted for it. I spent many hours selecting fixtures from Home Depot's website with the intention of going to the store and handling the items before ordering them online. Why, do you ask, would you order them online instead of buy them at the store? Good question, the answer to which is simple: the online prices regularly sat at $20 to $40 below the store cost, with free shipping to boot.
When I arrived at the store, I discovered they don't actually have all the items I picked out in stock. I should have anticipated this, since it's a common practice with all big box stores to carry more inventory online than in-store. I decided to simply browse the actual store, pick out new fixtures, and go home and order them online.
Bad idea. Turns out, Home Depot doesn't make it easy to find in-store items online. They have different names, different categories, and yes, even different model numbers for the same products. So the model numbers I hastily inscribed on my handy-dandy notebook in-store yielded no results in the search field. I accidentally discovered that some items might actually be available online when I accidentally clicked a link to browse shower heads and recognized the picture of the shower head I had picked out. The name under the picture was unfamiliar, but that was the one I wanted.
At least I hope so. I haven't actually received the order yet.
Well, after all that cumbersome effort to get the right price and the right product, I finally sat down, mid-afternoon, at the computer with the intention of completing the fixtures order for the remodel. Of course, when you need 30 minutes of distraction-free time, some kind of alarm goes off in the kids' heads and chaos ensues. I think I got up 15 times over the course of an hour to help Tyler "go potty," which I put in quotes because he never actually DID anything on the potty, but yes, he did go TO the potty.
By the end of it, I remembered that I was working on a laptop which did, in fact, also work in the bathroom, so I took it with me to watch Tyler sit on the toilet. He has mastered sitting on the toilet. That's why I will be thrilled with the new sitting area we have designed in our new bathroom, for the mom who has spent many hours each week watching a toddler sit on the toilet for the last 6 years of her life.
I pressed "Submit order" triumphantly after accruing a hefty total, but (and I pride myself on this) I scoured the Internet for a coupon and saved 10%. It just about covered sales tax.
Twenty minutes later, chaos ensued.
The credit card company called to say they had declined five charges from Home Improvement Warehouse based on suspicious activity. I told them I didn't know about Home Improvement Warehouse, but I did just make a hefty purchase from Home Depot. Is that what they meant? No, it just says Home Improvement Warehouse. And on it goes. I believe an hour passed, or maybe three hundred days for all the cumbersome mire we were wading through in the customer service arena, before they finally figured out that "Home Improvement Warehouse" was just a category, and yes, it might well be Home Depot. Why they broke it up into five charges is beyond me. I blame Home Depot for this whole insanity, because their weirdo accounting triggered suspicion in the credit card company. We told them we were remodeling a bathroom, and had in fact bought those items from Home Improvement Warehouse AKA Home Depot.
So then I called Home Depot and very kindly asked them to resubmit the charges because the credit card company has agreed to accept them next time they run through. After a very tiresome 10 minute conversation about why she can't do that, the customer service representative told me, "I don't mean to be rude, but you're just going to make things worse by running the charges again. It was already declined. I can't run it through again. You're going to have to make another order and cancel this one line-item." (Turns out, that wasn't entirely true.)
I replied, "Listen, I know a lot of this is automatic, but there has got to be a person or a department at Home Depot that manually handles problems like this. Can I talk to one of them?"
She said, "No ma'am, there's no one else."
What?! No one else works at Home Depot. This woman must be a superhero.
"You just need to be patient and see what happens over the next few days."
I said, "Thank you."
She then repeated her previous statement about making things worse not once but twice, to which I replied, "Thank you" each time, wishing I could just hang up without being rude.
So I hung up. And I was patient, which was hard, considering I was counting on "3-5 day delivery" and the items weren't even packaged up by day 3, much less shipped. The next day, I made the order again. I posted my 10% coupon and free shipping, and I also found those few lurking items that had alluded my notice the day before. So I was happy.
Then I clicked the "Live Chat" button to cancel the first order line-item, as instructed, even though it had already been declined. "Elizabeth" heard my story and set about cancelling. She then noticed that the items in the order were now routed, meaning they had been pulled from the warehouse and packaged.
I said, "That's funny because yesterday, they told me the credit card had been declined, and I would have to make another order."
She said, "Yes, I see in the notes here that you requested they resubmit the charges."
I replied, "I did. I was told that was not possible, and I would have to make another order."
She said, "I will proceed with the cancellation, but there's no guarantee it will work."
At least I can return the double-ordered items to any local Home Depot... she assured me (which I will have to do, according to the most recent automatic email I received from Home Depot). Of course, all the Home Depot assurances I've been getting lately don't make me confident. I imagine many more hours and miscommunications will be invested before this whole mess is over.
Maybe next time, I'll order from Lowe's... the other Home Improvement Warehouse. Oh boy, here we go again.
When I arrived at the store, I discovered they don't actually have all the items I picked out in stock. I should have anticipated this, since it's a common practice with all big box stores to carry more inventory online than in-store. I decided to simply browse the actual store, pick out new fixtures, and go home and order them online.
Bad idea. Turns out, Home Depot doesn't make it easy to find in-store items online. They have different names, different categories, and yes, even different model numbers for the same products. So the model numbers I hastily inscribed on my handy-dandy notebook in-store yielded no results in the search field. I accidentally discovered that some items might actually be available online when I accidentally clicked a link to browse shower heads and recognized the picture of the shower head I had picked out. The name under the picture was unfamiliar, but that was the one I wanted.
At least I hope so. I haven't actually received the order yet.
Well, after all that cumbersome effort to get the right price and the right product, I finally sat down, mid-afternoon, at the computer with the intention of completing the fixtures order for the remodel. Of course, when you need 30 minutes of distraction-free time, some kind of alarm goes off in the kids' heads and chaos ensues. I think I got up 15 times over the course of an hour to help Tyler "go potty," which I put in quotes because he never actually DID anything on the potty, but yes, he did go TO the potty.
By the end of it, I remembered that I was working on a laptop which did, in fact, also work in the bathroom, so I took it with me to watch Tyler sit on the toilet. He has mastered sitting on the toilet. That's why I will be thrilled with the new sitting area we have designed in our new bathroom, for the mom who has spent many hours each week watching a toddler sit on the toilet for the last 6 years of her life.
I pressed "Submit order" triumphantly after accruing a hefty total, but (and I pride myself on this) I scoured the Internet for a coupon and saved 10%. It just about covered sales tax.
Twenty minutes later, chaos ensued.
The credit card company called to say they had declined five charges from Home Improvement Warehouse based on suspicious activity. I told them I didn't know about Home Improvement Warehouse, but I did just make a hefty purchase from Home Depot. Is that what they meant? No, it just says Home Improvement Warehouse. And on it goes. I believe an hour passed, or maybe three hundred days for all the cumbersome mire we were wading through in the customer service arena, before they finally figured out that "Home Improvement Warehouse" was just a category, and yes, it might well be Home Depot. Why they broke it up into five charges is beyond me. I blame Home Depot for this whole insanity, because their weirdo accounting triggered suspicion in the credit card company. We told them we were remodeling a bathroom, and had in fact bought those items from Home Improvement Warehouse AKA Home Depot.
So then I called Home Depot and very kindly asked them to resubmit the charges because the credit card company has agreed to accept them next time they run through. After a very tiresome 10 minute conversation about why she can't do that, the customer service representative told me, "I don't mean to be rude, but you're just going to make things worse by running the charges again. It was already declined. I can't run it through again. You're going to have to make another order and cancel this one line-item." (Turns out, that wasn't entirely true.)
I replied, "Listen, I know a lot of this is automatic, but there has got to be a person or a department at Home Depot that manually handles problems like this. Can I talk to one of them?"
She said, "No ma'am, there's no one else."
What?! No one else works at Home Depot. This woman must be a superhero.
"You just need to be patient and see what happens over the next few days."
I said, "Thank you."
She then repeated her previous statement about making things worse not once but twice, to which I replied, "Thank you" each time, wishing I could just hang up without being rude.
So I hung up. And I was patient, which was hard, considering I was counting on "3-5 day delivery" and the items weren't even packaged up by day 3, much less shipped. The next day, I made the order again. I posted my 10% coupon and free shipping, and I also found those few lurking items that had alluded my notice the day before. So I was happy.
Then I clicked the "Live Chat" button to cancel the first order line-item, as instructed, even though it had already been declined. "Elizabeth" heard my story and set about cancelling. She then noticed that the items in the order were now routed, meaning they had been pulled from the warehouse and packaged.
I said, "That's funny because yesterday, they told me the credit card had been declined, and I would have to make another order."
She said, "Yes, I see in the notes here that you requested they resubmit the charges."
I replied, "I did. I was told that was not possible, and I would have to make another order."
She said, "I will proceed with the cancellation, but there's no guarantee it will work."
At least I can return the double-ordered items to any local Home Depot... she assured me (which I will have to do, according to the most recent automatic email I received from Home Depot). Of course, all the Home Depot assurances I've been getting lately don't make me confident. I imagine many more hours and miscommunications will be invested before this whole mess is over.
Maybe next time, I'll order from Lowe's... the other Home Improvement Warehouse. Oh boy, here we go again.
Friday, August 6, 2010
The middle child
Our oldest two children spent five days with friends this week, and I learned a lot about my middle child, David, who's currently 4.
I learned he can start a game on NickJr.com all by himself.
I learned he can navigate to the Braves baseball website and start watching video highlight or full-length games by himself.
I learned he can actually tell the score of a baseball game, and that he prefers to cheer for the "Not-Braves" team, just to tease his daddy.
I learned the sucker can read! READ, I tell you! Sounding out like a pro!
I learned he will sit for an hour doing puzzles or coloring scraps of paper without whining.
I learned he still likes to race the twins on little ride-on toys.
None of these things happen when the older, capable sisters are around, because why work when you don't have to? Why read when someone's always vying to read for you? Why race with little kids when you can be racing big kids? And forget starting a computer game by yourself when you have big sisters who beat you to the computer!
It's been enlightening and delightful, but I am glad to have the girls back. It will certainly be livelier!
I learned he can start a game on NickJr.com all by himself.
I learned he can navigate to the Braves baseball website and start watching video highlight or full-length games by himself.
I learned he can actually tell the score of a baseball game, and that he prefers to cheer for the "Not-Braves" team, just to tease his daddy.
I learned the sucker can read! READ, I tell you! Sounding out like a pro!
I learned he will sit for an hour doing puzzles or coloring scraps of paper without whining.
I learned he still likes to race the twins on little ride-on toys.
None of these things happen when the older, capable sisters are around, because why work when you don't have to? Why read when someone's always vying to read for you? Why race with little kids when you can be racing big kids? And forget starting a computer game by yourself when you have big sisters who beat you to the computer!
It's been enlightening and delightful, but I am glad to have the girls back. It will certainly be livelier!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Chore Charts
I created some chore charts in Microsoft Excel for my older kids, ages 6, 5, and 4, to reward good behavior and good attitudes. Since we homeschool, I also included schoolwork as an additional motivation for them. I reward all chores, schoolwork, and good attitudes with a smiley face, and on Mondays, I give them a penny for every smiley face. I also have a small section of bad attitudes that get a frowney face, and they lose a penny for every frowney face. There's really no way to do all the chores and schoolwork in one day, but they're on the chart to be rewarded when they DO get done, not as incentive to complete them every day.
When I created the charts, I had specific things I wanted to improve in our kids. You could create your own chart for the specific things your children need. For example, my children have a terrible habit of interrupting, so I put interrupting under the bad attitudes. We also have a whiner, so whining made the list, too. I have one child who breezes through her schoolwork, paying little attention to whether she's doing it properly or not, so I put "Get 100%" on the good behavior list. (The one who always gets 100% sure enjoys it!)
I made it to last a week, and I print it out every week for every child. Since we started, my younger ones have begun to help with chores, too, so I decided to let them in on the action. I print them out on plain computer paper, and then make an event of letting the children color and decorate their own charts.
As a side note, I posted the same chart for myself so the children could see how much money they could make if they would do my chores all week. It worked! The first week, I got $0.75, while they earned merely $0.17 or $0.20. The very next day, I woke up to my older two doing the dishes, the laundry, and the table! In fact, Saja completed nearly every chore on the chart!
Some people think that you shouldn't pay kids to do things that they should be doing anyway, like housework or schoolwork. But I have found, in the last three weeks, that I fight my kids much less, and their behavior has much improved. It's worth it to me.
When I created the charts, I had specific things I wanted to improve in our kids. You could create your own chart for the specific things your children need. For example, my children have a terrible habit of interrupting, so I put interrupting under the bad attitudes. We also have a whiner, so whining made the list, too. I have one child who breezes through her schoolwork, paying little attention to whether she's doing it properly or not, so I put "Get 100%" on the good behavior list. (The one who always gets 100% sure enjoys it!)
I made it to last a week, and I print it out every week for every child. Since we started, my younger ones have begun to help with chores, too, so I decided to let them in on the action. I print them out on plain computer paper, and then make an event of letting the children color and decorate their own charts.
As a side note, I posted the same chart for myself so the children could see how much money they could make if they would do my chores all week. It worked! The first week, I got $0.75, while they earned merely $0.17 or $0.20. The very next day, I woke up to my older two doing the dishes, the laundry, and the table! In fact, Saja completed nearly every chore on the chart!
Some people think that you shouldn't pay kids to do things that they should be doing anyway, like housework or schoolwork. But I have found, in the last three weeks, that I fight my kids much less, and their behavior has much improved. It's worth it to me.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Fishing in Hell
On one of our long car trips, Grandma gave us tiny, disposable cups, and told us to pass out different types of food in them to make the trip more interesting. So, at one point, we passed out goldfish, and we asked the kids where in the world they were fishing. Saja said, "Canada." David said, "The lake."
Kora said, "Hell."
What? Did I hear that correctly? "Kora, sweetie, I didn't hear you very well. Where are you fishing?"
"Hell!"
Chris and I stifled our chuckles.
Chris asked, "What kind of fish are in Hell?"
With authority and knowledge, Kora replied immediately, "Sharks and catfish."
Oh, well, then.
Kora said, "Hell."
What? Did I hear that correctly? "Kora, sweetie, I didn't hear you very well. Where are you fishing?"
"Hell!"
Chris and I stifled our chuckles.
Chris asked, "What kind of fish are in Hell?"
With authority and knowledge, Kora replied immediately, "Sharks and catfish."
Oh, well, then.
Monday, June 7, 2010
David's prophecy
Tonight, just before he dropped off to the Land of Nod, David, who is 4 now, said to me, "Mommy, this baby you're having, I just know it's going to be a girl. I just know it." I guess we'll find out in January!
He was so young when his little brothers were born that I never got to experience his anticipation before. It's very cute. He will make a wonderful big brother again.
He was so young when his little brothers were born that I never got to experience his anticipation before. It's very cute. He will make a wonderful big brother again.
Monday, March 29, 2010
---Coming out of the terrible twos---
I am all smiles.
I think the twins have turned a corner--from the hall of temper tantrums and miscommunication into the corridor of giggles and glee. Since November, there have been entire weeks when the only sound coming from Tobias was screaming--the WHOLE time! Today, we laughed, we played ball, we took a bath (okay, they took a bath, I got splashed), we read stories, and we talked. I asked Tobias to get a cup of water for David for breakfast, and he did! With pleasure. I smiled all day long!
Yesterday, the older kids decided to play hide-and-seek. Tobias, not one to be left out, stood in front of Chris with his eyes shut, counted to 20, and then opened his eyes. I watched to see how much of the game he understood. Turns out, not much! He took off like a shot around the table into the hall and back to the couch, in a well-worn circle that provides much entertainment in our house, giggling and squealing the whole time. Then he circled again, and again, and a fourth time, before he came to rest in front of his daddy, grinning a toothy, open-mouthed grin, asking with a sparkle in his eye to be chased.
I think the other kids may still be hiding. =D
But we had a blast playing the "Close-your-eyes-and-count-to-20-then-run-like-mad-in-circles" game with our newly-not-so-terrible-2's twins. =D
That sentence had a lot of hyphens.
Tyler has learned to kiss properly, finally. I must admit, I was none-too-thrilled (<--more hyphens!) to continue receiving slobbery open-mouthed kisses. Now he sucks in his cheeks and puckers his lips like a fish. I'll take it over tongue any day!
Last night, Tobias, lying in bed for his stories, said, "Daddy, mmmm?" and puckered his lips. I called Chris in, and Tobias repeated himself and then kissed his daddy. What a cute way to request affection!
And you should hear them bust Swiper on Dora the Explorer. Every time that sneaky fox shows himself on screen, Tyler yells, "Dider!" (which also, by the way, means "diaper," but usually not yelled at the top of his lungs at the t.v.) He also correctly identified the yellow steering wheel for Tito to continue his voyage after Swiper swiped it, despite Tyler's best preventative efforts. I was one proud mama.
Full of fish-kisses, bath-splashes, hide-and-seek-chase, and something-that-makes-me-want-to-use-hyphens-all-the-time, I am all smiles.
I think the twins have turned a corner--from the hall of temper tantrums and miscommunication into the corridor of giggles and glee. Since November, there have been entire weeks when the only sound coming from Tobias was screaming--the WHOLE time! Today, we laughed, we played ball, we took a bath (okay, they took a bath, I got splashed), we read stories, and we talked. I asked Tobias to get a cup of water for David for breakfast, and he did! With pleasure. I smiled all day long!
Yesterday, the older kids decided to play hide-and-seek. Tobias, not one to be left out, stood in front of Chris with his eyes shut, counted to 20, and then opened his eyes. I watched to see how much of the game he understood. Turns out, not much! He took off like a shot around the table into the hall and back to the couch, in a well-worn circle that provides much entertainment in our house, giggling and squealing the whole time. Then he circled again, and again, and a fourth time, before he came to rest in front of his daddy, grinning a toothy, open-mouthed grin, asking with a sparkle in his eye to be chased.
I think the other kids may still be hiding. =D
But we had a blast playing the "Close-your-eyes-and-count-to-20-then-run-like-mad-in-circles" game with our newly-not-so-terrible-2's twins. =D
That sentence had a lot of hyphens.
Tyler has learned to kiss properly, finally. I must admit, I was none-too-thrilled (<--more hyphens!) to continue receiving slobbery open-mouthed kisses. Now he sucks in his cheeks and puckers his lips like a fish. I'll take it over tongue any day!
Last night, Tobias, lying in bed for his stories, said, "Daddy, mmmm?" and puckered his lips. I called Chris in, and Tobias repeated himself and then kissed his daddy. What a cute way to request affection!
And you should hear them bust Swiper on Dora the Explorer. Every time that sneaky fox shows himself on screen, Tyler yells, "Dider!" (which also, by the way, means "diaper," but usually not yelled at the top of his lungs at the t.v.) He also correctly identified the yellow steering wheel for Tito to continue his voyage after Swiper swiped it, despite Tyler's best preventative efforts. I was one proud mama.
Full of fish-kisses, bath-splashes, hide-and-seek-chase, and something-that-makes-me-want-to-use-hyphens-all-the-time, I am all smiles.
Monday, March 15, 2010
My life is a comic strip
This week has been the least normal week I have ever experienced, but considering that I've been a mother for 6 years, I suppose it's long overdue.
I don't have time to adequately describe the events of this week, so I'll give you the condensed version here, and go back and fill in the gaps with descriptive words and lots of ellipses when the kids are asleep... which means, for the most part, safe.
First, Chris, my nurse-husband, went to Knoxville on Tuesday. That's when David decided to slam the toilet seat down on--ahem--himself and leave a nice purple mark--"there."
Second, Tobias locked himself in the girls' bedroom, and I had to get on the roof in hopes of rescuing him. But I couldn't get in. He got out before I got off the roof!
Third, David fell two feet off the couch onto the hardwood floor and lacerated his head. We waited 5 hours in the emergency room for three stitches.
Today, David pushed his butt against the window in an effort to move the bunk beds, and broke the windowpane clear out. Thank Jesus he didn't follow, because the drop is 10 feet or more!
Doesn't it sound like a comic strip? Like one more event for the next panel? Like hyperbole? My life is a comic strip, and I am hyperbole. But with the peace of Jesus, we will make it through happy, and we will make it through sane.
I don't have time to adequately describe the events of this week, so I'll give you the condensed version here, and go back and fill in the gaps with descriptive words and lots of ellipses when the kids are asleep... which means, for the most part, safe.
First, Chris, my nurse-husband, went to Knoxville on Tuesday. That's when David decided to slam the toilet seat down on--ahem--himself and leave a nice purple mark--"there."
Second, Tobias locked himself in the girls' bedroom, and I had to get on the roof in hopes of rescuing him. But I couldn't get in. He got out before I got off the roof!
Third, David fell two feet off the couch onto the hardwood floor and lacerated his head. We waited 5 hours in the emergency room for three stitches.
Today, David pushed his butt against the window in an effort to move the bunk beds, and broke the windowpane clear out. Thank Jesus he didn't follow, because the drop is 10 feet or more!
Doesn't it sound like a comic strip? Like one more event for the next panel? Like hyperbole? My life is a comic strip, and I am hyperbole. But with the peace of Jesus, we will make it through happy, and we will make it through sane.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Bedtime terror
Saja and Kora discovered that their new angel dolls say bedtime prayers when they push their bellies. One says the Lord's Prayer, and one says something that's NOT in the Bible, nor is it the common, but terrifying, bedtime prayer we learned as children about dying in our sleep. However, they both sound sweet and gentle, and the girls had fun pressing the buttons over and over tonight.
David, however, did not want to be left out, so he looked around the room and eyed another doll that makes noise. So amidst the sweet, gentle prayers of the plush dolls comes a terrifying roar of a dinosaur! (How apt.)
It was like watching Godzilla--Bedtime.
David, however, did not want to be left out, so he looked around the room and eyed another doll that makes noise. So amidst the sweet, gentle prayers of the plush dolls comes a terrifying roar of a dinosaur! (How apt.)
It was like watching Godzilla--Bedtime.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Honesty
Tonight, Kora was massaging my feet while I read her bedtime story. She raised her hand and asked very politely, "Momma, when I'm done rubbing your feet, my I please go wash my hands because they are going to stink very much."
I, of course, allowed it.
I, of course, allowed it.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
What kind of restaurant is that, exactly?
So... we're driving down the road today, when David bursts out excitedly, "Nutcracker! I see Nutcracker!"
I had no idea what he meant. We do actually own the movie, The Nutcracker, but it wasn't playing. So...
Kora asked, with much verve, the question on everybody's mind, "Where, David, where?!"
David matched her excitement when he pointed out the window and said, "Right over there, Kora!"
We were all confused until he sheepishly added, "Oh, I mean Cracker Barrel."
Ooooohhhhhh. Right.
Anybody want to join us for a down-home meal from Nutcracker? =D
I had no idea what he meant. We do actually own the movie, The Nutcracker, but it wasn't playing. So...
Kora asked, with much verve, the question on everybody's mind, "Where, David, where?!"
David matched her excitement when he pointed out the window and said, "Right over there, Kora!"
We were all confused until he sheepishly added, "Oh, I mean Cracker Barrel."
Ooooohhhhhh. Right.
Anybody want to join us for a down-home meal from Nutcracker? =D
Friday, February 12, 2010
Rat news
We've had mice before, and we survived. But last week, we saw a R-A-T. I'm talkin' a big, honkin', furry, long-toothed, gnawin' rat with a tail that doubled his body size. The thing was bold, too, coming into the kitchen for a bite to eat while I was standing there doing dishes. He found a hole where the cabinet doesn't quite reach the floor, but it wasn't quite big enough to drag the WHOLE APPLE back through. So, one morning, I found a half-gnawed apple surrounded by tiny apple-peel scraps sitting in front of his escape hole.
We saw him four times today, each time in the dining room, like a little pet dog coming to clean up after our dinner. Only it wasn't a dog. It was a RAT. Gross.
Chris bought a snap trap and a glue trap, and I told him he would have to take care of it all, because a) I was scared I would break my hand on the snap trap, because I'm that clumsy, and b) I did NOT want to deal with the death of a warm, furry creature on my kitchen floor. I don't even like stomping on spiders (but I'm warming up to it!)
The first night that he set the trap, he smeared peanut butter all over it. After 45 minutes, he checked the trap, and the smart, brave rat had licked the trap clean without tripping it! Shees. I told Chris he should paste a hunk of cheese on top of the peanut butter, and put the snap trap adjacent to a glue trap to ensure success next time.
Well, next time, no luck. I guess the rat was sleeping. Or making rat babies. Let's hope not.
Tonight, however, Chris set the trap with peanut butter again in the kitchen, in front of his favorite hole. I went down the kitchen stairs to start the laundry, and, incidentally, found a cell phone in the washer. I was fooling with the battery as I topped the staircase, entering the kitchen, when I heard the sound of death--the snap of the snap trap. This is not a soprano snap, like a teeny mousetrap. This is a booming snare drum that demands your attention, and without thinking, I gave it my attention.
And I saw the rat breathe it's last. It quivered. It affected me terribly.
I hid behind the door and yelled for Chris. "Chris! Chris! CHRI-I-I-I-IS!!!"
He came running, thinking I had tripped the trap! "Are you okay?!" he yelled.
I asked him kindly to please take care of that, and then it happened. I broke down in tears.
I suppose it's one thing to see a dead rat in a trap you set for him. But it's another thing entirely to see the thing die.
I know, I know, most of you guys out there are thinking, "That is SO cool! I wish I were there!" And I admit, I am such a girl. But that's how God made me. Emotional and whiny.
And while I feel quite traumatized at the moment, I am glad that I don't have to share any more apples.
(PS Thanks to my very sweet, darling, and loving husband for taking care of the remains. I hope it's not all I get for Valentine's Day.)
We saw him four times today, each time in the dining room, like a little pet dog coming to clean up after our dinner. Only it wasn't a dog. It was a RAT. Gross.
Chris bought a snap trap and a glue trap, and I told him he would have to take care of it all, because a) I was scared I would break my hand on the snap trap, because I'm that clumsy, and b) I did NOT want to deal with the death of a warm, furry creature on my kitchen floor. I don't even like stomping on spiders (but I'm warming up to it!)
The first night that he set the trap, he smeared peanut butter all over it. After 45 minutes, he checked the trap, and the smart, brave rat had licked the trap clean without tripping it! Shees. I told Chris he should paste a hunk of cheese on top of the peanut butter, and put the snap trap adjacent to a glue trap to ensure success next time.
Well, next time, no luck. I guess the rat was sleeping. Or making rat babies. Let's hope not.
Tonight, however, Chris set the trap with peanut butter again in the kitchen, in front of his favorite hole. I went down the kitchen stairs to start the laundry, and, incidentally, found a cell phone in the washer. I was fooling with the battery as I topped the staircase, entering the kitchen, when I heard the sound of death--the snap of the snap trap. This is not a soprano snap, like a teeny mousetrap. This is a booming snare drum that demands your attention, and without thinking, I gave it my attention.
And I saw the rat breathe it's last. It quivered. It affected me terribly.
I hid behind the door and yelled for Chris. "Chris! Chris! CHRI-I-I-I-IS!!!"
He came running, thinking I had tripped the trap! "Are you okay?!" he yelled.
I asked him kindly to please take care of that, and then it happened. I broke down in tears.
I suppose it's one thing to see a dead rat in a trap you set for him. But it's another thing entirely to see the thing die.
I know, I know, most of you guys out there are thinking, "That is SO cool! I wish I were there!" And I admit, I am such a girl. But that's how God made me. Emotional and whiny.
And while I feel quite traumatized at the moment, I am glad that I don't have to share any more apples.
(PS Thanks to my very sweet, darling, and loving husband for taking care of the remains. I hope it's not all I get for Valentine's Day.)
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Nothin' like it
Chris and I spent the evening in a hotel in Gatlinburg, which was wonderful, and when we returned home, all the children ran up to us, yelling, "Mommy!" and "Daddy!" and giving us big leg-hugs. What a beautiful, fantastic, enthusiastic love. Down the road, I hope we continue to share this type of love, and that those short-people leg-hugs turn into full-bodied bear hugs.
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Rat in the House
It's a new Dr. Seuss series. You don't want to miss it.
I've dealt with mice before. They are a minor inconvenience, excused because they are just so darn cute.
Not so with a rat.
He's ugly. He's scary. And he looks like he can gnaw my finger off if I look at him the wrong way.
I don't even know how to trap a rat... humanely... "tidily"... successfully.
He has the audacity to come out in broad daylight and scurry--make that lumber--over my feet in the kitchen.
He chewed a hole the size of Lake Eerie in my bag of pancake mix and went for a swim in there. Then, as an afterthought, showered off in my rice.
A rat.
Ick.
I shiver.
and I will not sleep well tonight.
I've dealt with mice before. They are a minor inconvenience, excused because they are just so darn cute.
Not so with a rat.
He's ugly. He's scary. And he looks like he can gnaw my finger off if I look at him the wrong way.
I don't even know how to trap a rat... humanely... "tidily"... successfully.
He has the audacity to come out in broad daylight and scurry--make that lumber--over my feet in the kitchen.
He chewed a hole the size of Lake Eerie in my bag of pancake mix and went for a swim in there. Then, as an afterthought, showered off in my rice.
A rat.
Ick.
I shiver.
and I will not sleep well tonight.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Exciting news!
Saja, 6, asked to be baptized last night. Our church will be licensing Chris on Feb. 7, so they're going to let him baptize her on the 14th! Daddy baptizing daughter on Valentine's Day!!! Isn't that sweet?!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Goodnight kisses
My boys are so affectionate. Tyler and Tobias have begun to play a goodnight game with me--when I get ready to leave their room for the night, I turn and say, "I love you! Night-night!" They either reply in kind, "Ly-lay-loo, Nite-nite!" or give me the flirty-eye. The flirty-eye looks like this: chin turned toward shoulder, slight smile on the face, and fluttering eyelashes. Then I say, "No crying when I leave!" They always giggle, because they know they're going to cry when I leave just to get me to return! When I close the door, they cry the worst fake cry you've ever heard. So I open the door quickly and say, "Hey, there's no crying when I leave!" And they both giggle. I'll lay my whole body on top of theirs so our faces are touching and say through puckered lips, "Gimme goodnight kiss." Sometimes they do, but most times they turn their cheeks and make me chase down their lips... which, of course, I do with glee. Bedtime can be fun, but it sure takes a long time!
THEN... I run upstairs to start bedtime for the older kids. I always kiss them on their cheeks after I read their stories, and sometimes, they'll throw their arms around my neck and yank me down, keeping my chiropractor in business. Tonight, David took my face in both hands, turned my lips toward his, and fish-kissed my lips ten times in a row! I left the room with a smile on my face and a light heart.
THEN... I run upstairs to start bedtime for the older kids. I always kiss them on their cheeks after I read their stories, and sometimes, they'll throw their arms around my neck and yank me down, keeping my chiropractor in business. Tonight, David took my face in both hands, turned my lips toward his, and fish-kissed my lips ten times in a row! I left the room with a smile on my face and a light heart.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The most hilarious van adventure yet
So...
Praise God we're all safe and sound and tucked into bed tonight... and we didn't even have to call AAA Auto Services.
The girls wanted to swing on a friend's tree swing, so I took them over there at about 4pm. Tobias and Tyler had not napped, but I figured they wouldn't be too cranky with the outdoors calling their names.
Wrong.
Tobias fussed so much that I put him back into the car. Tyler thought that would be grand fun, so he joined him. They pushed the button on the van that automatically closes the door.
I knew that Tobias had a habit of plugging in our DVD player, which, when activated before cranking the car, will drain the battery. I also knew it doesn't happen ALL the time, and that I was parked conveniently for a quick jump, were it to happen today, so I let them play in the car for about 15 minutes while I kept an eye on them and the other children in the yard. I also chit-chatted with the Mommy-friend, Missy Rhodes.
Then it hit me.
Tobias has my keys. If he locks the door, I will not be able to get into the van. And I'm not so sure he'll be able to unlock the door on command.
I raced to the van, and sure enough...
It was locked!
I yelled through the window to Tobias. "Where are my keys?"
He went right to them... hanging out of the ignition.
"Can you push the button to unlock the door?"
He, in fact, did push a button. The LOCK button.
"No, no, baby, the other one. The UNLOCK button."
The lock button again. Sigh.
The he climbed to the door and manually pushed the button on the door--to lock it!
I suggested that he go back to the key fob and try again, and this time, he got it right, much to my joy and salvation from panic.
So, naturally, I tried to crank the car. D-E-A-D.
Missy offered to have her husband jump it if we had jumper cables, which I promptly located. Eddie, her husband, did NOT appreciate the fact that the red alligator clips were missing the rubber grips. Watching him try to attach the clips to the battery while thinking his risk of shock was high was like watching a little boy sneaking into the cookie jar. He jumped and squirmed and squealed, and finally asked, "Are you confident that this isn't going to shock me?" to which I, of course, replied, "Yes, I've seen Chris do this fourteen times." (Then I looked at Missy and mouthed the word, "No.") I offered to do it myself, but Eddie's ego would have none of that. He did settle down after I threatened his manhood. I missed a real opportunity with America's Funniest Home Videos having left my camera at home. Sigh.
Eddie, you could have won me $10,000. If I won, I would buy new jumper cables... with proper grips. =)
As soon as it cranked, Tobias turned the ignition back off. That boy.
Chris told me one time that driving four blocks doesn't do squat to recharge your battery, so if you have a dead battery, you should drive around 15 minutes or so. Our fifteen minutes led us to Little Caesar's, where I bought dinner for $5.46, and Kora fell asleep, and I nearly rear-ended someone while my attention was on opening the back windows for Saja.
But we made it home, safe and sound, and full. What could have been a tiresome, stressful evening turned out to be fun and injury-free. Thank you, Jesus!
Praise God we're all safe and sound and tucked into bed tonight... and we didn't even have to call AAA Auto Services.
The girls wanted to swing on a friend's tree swing, so I took them over there at about 4pm. Tobias and Tyler had not napped, but I figured they wouldn't be too cranky with the outdoors calling their names.
Wrong.
Tobias fussed so much that I put him back into the car. Tyler thought that would be grand fun, so he joined him. They pushed the button on the van that automatically closes the door.
I knew that Tobias had a habit of plugging in our DVD player, which, when activated before cranking the car, will drain the battery. I also knew it doesn't happen ALL the time, and that I was parked conveniently for a quick jump, were it to happen today, so I let them play in the car for about 15 minutes while I kept an eye on them and the other children in the yard. I also chit-chatted with the Mommy-friend, Missy Rhodes.
Then it hit me.
Tobias has my keys. If he locks the door, I will not be able to get into the van. And I'm not so sure he'll be able to unlock the door on command.
I raced to the van, and sure enough...
It was locked!
I yelled through the window to Tobias. "Where are my keys?"
He went right to them... hanging out of the ignition.
"Can you push the button to unlock the door?"
He, in fact, did push a button. The LOCK button.
"No, no, baby, the other one. The UNLOCK button."
The lock button again. Sigh.
The he climbed to the door and manually pushed the button on the door--to lock it!
I suggested that he go back to the key fob and try again, and this time, he got it right, much to my joy and salvation from panic.
So, naturally, I tried to crank the car. D-E-A-D.
Missy offered to have her husband jump it if we had jumper cables, which I promptly located. Eddie, her husband, did NOT appreciate the fact that the red alligator clips were missing the rubber grips. Watching him try to attach the clips to the battery while thinking his risk of shock was high was like watching a little boy sneaking into the cookie jar. He jumped and squirmed and squealed, and finally asked, "Are you confident that this isn't going to shock me?" to which I, of course, replied, "Yes, I've seen Chris do this fourteen times." (Then I looked at Missy and mouthed the word, "No.") I offered to do it myself, but Eddie's ego would have none of that. He did settle down after I threatened his manhood. I missed a real opportunity with America's Funniest Home Videos having left my camera at home. Sigh.
Eddie, you could have won me $10,000. If I won, I would buy new jumper cables... with proper grips. =)
As soon as it cranked, Tobias turned the ignition back off. That boy.
Chris told me one time that driving four blocks doesn't do squat to recharge your battery, so if you have a dead battery, you should drive around 15 minutes or so. Our fifteen minutes led us to Little Caesar's, where I bought dinner for $5.46, and Kora fell asleep, and I nearly rear-ended someone while my attention was on opening the back windows for Saja.
But we made it home, safe and sound, and full. What could have been a tiresome, stressful evening turned out to be fun and injury-free. Thank you, Jesus!
Mary Kay Miracle Set really works
I started using the Mary Kay miracle set for my facial skin care two weeks ago. Last night, lying in bed with Saja, she caressed my face and then asked, "Mommy, why is your skin so soft?!"
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Embarrassing moment of the day
Tobias stripped at basketball practice today. It was embarrassing. I'm sure I'll look back on it and laugh some day, but not now.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Learning new languages
Today at the Y, Saja squealed in excitement when she heard a young boy, about age 3, speak. "Mom, he's Spanish!"
I said, "I know. Did you say, 'Hola?'"
She looked at me puzzled and said, "He doesn't speak Spanish! He speaks... baby!"
I said, "I know. Did you say, 'Hola?'"
She looked at me puzzled and said, "He doesn't speak Spanish! He speaks... baby!"
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Exercise and eating
We have to stop exercising to save our grocery bill.
The kids practiced basketball tonight, and when they came home, they had two helpings of dinner (which was really leftover lunch that they had refused at that time), two clementines, a half-cup of almonds, two bananas, and a third of a pint of blueberries--EACH. My eyes grew wider every time someone came out of the kitchen with another vittle in hand.
On the plus side, they ate my cooking. That's new.
So, I guess we'll keep basketball on the docket for now.
The kids practiced basketball tonight, and when they came home, they had two helpings of dinner (which was really leftover lunch that they had refused at that time), two clementines, a half-cup of almonds, two bananas, and a third of a pint of blueberries--EACH. My eyes grew wider every time someone came out of the kitchen with another vittle in hand.
On the plus side, they ate my cooking. That's new.
So, I guess we'll keep basketball on the docket for now.
Reading with David
Disclaimer: I admit it--I push my kids academically. Not all 3-year-olds should have to learn to read.
David is almost 4. I went through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons (which uses the Distar method) with Kora and Saja at age 3, so of course, David must follow suit. No options.
We stopped at lesson 50 before Christmas. He was being stubborn about it, so I decided to read colorful, easy Scholastic books with him to revitalize his enthusiasm.
Today, I reinstituted the EZ Lessons book, but we reviewed lesson 37. Here's how it went.
David read, "I am a log."
Then he said, "Ah, that's so funny. Logs can't talk!"
Then... the text said, "I can not sit on an ant."
... which he read perfectly.
"But an ant can sit on me."
David decided the story would sound better if he said, "But a tiger can sit on me."
... so that's how he read it.
I could NOT get him to sound out A-N-T if my life depended on it. I think EVERYTHING is a tiger to him. Heck, he's a tiger most days! So I'll laugh it off. I think it's still pretty good for a three-year-old.
David is almost 4. I went through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons (which uses the Distar method) with Kora and Saja at age 3, so of course, David must follow suit. No options.
We stopped at lesson 50 before Christmas. He was being stubborn about it, so I decided to read colorful, easy Scholastic books with him to revitalize his enthusiasm.
Today, I reinstituted the EZ Lessons book, but we reviewed lesson 37. Here's how it went.
David read, "I am a log."
Then he said, "Ah, that's so funny. Logs can't talk!"
Then... the text said, "I can not sit on an ant."
... which he read perfectly.
"But an ant can sit on me."
David decided the story would sound better if he said, "But a tiger can sit on me."
... so that's how he read it.
I could NOT get him to sound out A-N-T if my life depended on it. I think EVERYTHING is a tiger to him. Heck, he's a tiger most days! So I'll laugh it off. I think it's still pretty good for a three-year-old.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Bedtime, anyone?
Tonight, I read Bible stories to the twins, prayed with them, lay down with them for a moment, then said, "Nite, nite, I love you!" and closed the door behind me. I always hope for a "Nite, nite, I love you," in return, but none was forthcoming this evening.
Then, as I usually do, I continued bedtime upstairs with the older children, reading stories and praying with them. However, half-way through, I heard crying from the twins' room. I let it continue 15 minutes before I intervened. When I opened the door, there sat Tyler, sans pajamas, complaining about, "Potty."
I quickly zipped him up and lay down with Tyler and Tobias for another moment to soothe them before I left again. Things got pretty silly! Tobias started playing peekaboo and the snoring game with me. Tyler kept crawling face-to-face with me and then giggling. Their favorite bedtime song? "I love Tobias, oh yes I do. I love Tyler, and will be true. When you're not with me, I'm blue-ooo-hoo-hoo. Oh, Tobias (or Tyler), I love you!"
I think I hear them dribbling the basketball now.
Oh, well. I'm going to bed. At least SOMEONE will be sleeping.
Then, as I usually do, I continued bedtime upstairs with the older children, reading stories and praying with them. However, half-way through, I heard crying from the twins' room. I let it continue 15 minutes before I intervened. When I opened the door, there sat Tyler, sans pajamas, complaining about, "Potty."
I quickly zipped him up and lay down with Tyler and Tobias for another moment to soothe them before I left again. Things got pretty silly! Tobias started playing peekaboo and the snoring game with me. Tyler kept crawling face-to-face with me and then giggling. Their favorite bedtime song? "I love Tobias, oh yes I do. I love Tyler, and will be true. When you're not with me, I'm blue-ooo-hoo-hoo. Oh, Tobias (or Tyler), I love you!"
I think I hear them dribbling the basketball now.
Oh, well. I'm going to bed. At least SOMEONE will be sleeping.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Ice cream in the winter
So... after naptime today, the kids received a treat--ice cream in a real sugar cone! Yippee!
Of course, it's 17 degrees outside, and about 65 degrees inside... not the best conditions for ice cream.
David knew this, being the smart fellow that he is, so he took his ice cream cone and stood in front of the space heater... facing it.
Drip, drip, drip.
Of course, it's 17 degrees outside, and about 65 degrees inside... not the best conditions for ice cream.
David knew this, being the smart fellow that he is, so he took his ice cream cone and stood in front of the space heater... facing it.
Drip, drip, drip.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Today's highlight
We had the twin's speech and language screened last week, and we were told they appear to be developmentally delayed. Neither one really speaks clearly, and definitely not in sentences. Imagine my surprise tonight when I asked Tobias, "Do you want some juice?" and he replied by holding up his cup and saying, "Just a little bit."
Tyler and Tobias both enjoyed Chuck E. Cheese this morning more than ever before. I gave them a cup with 10 tokens in it each. Tyler put all his tokens in the Clifford ride one after the other. Tobias figured out how to climb into the Monster Truck all by himself and enjoyed many minutes up there. Saja, Kora, and David plucked all the tickets off all the machines left from the early-morning test run, so we ended up with more prizes than ever before! We had the place to ourselves because of the light dusting of snow that shut down the world, and it was pretty awesome. I can see myself having a basement like that some day... minus the freaky robotic mouse and teeny-bopper music. Chuck E. Cheese- the place where a kid can be a kid--and a mom can have a break. We love you, freaky mouse!
Tyler and Tobias both enjoyed Chuck E. Cheese this morning more than ever before. I gave them a cup with 10 tokens in it each. Tyler put all his tokens in the Clifford ride one after the other. Tobias figured out how to climb into the Monster Truck all by himself and enjoyed many minutes up there. Saja, Kora, and David plucked all the tickets off all the machines left from the early-morning test run, so we ended up with more prizes than ever before! We had the place to ourselves because of the light dusting of snow that shut down the world, and it was pretty awesome. I can see myself having a basement like that some day... minus the freaky robotic mouse and teeny-bopper music. Chuck E. Cheese- the place where a kid can be a kid--and a mom can have a break. We love you, freaky mouse!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Overheard:
Saja: "Somebody get me a pencil!" ... "David, you can learn to be a gentleman by getting stuff for girls."
English in Chattanooga
Kora: "Mom, when I say 'purty' instead of 'pretty,' it's because I'm trying to talk like our neighbor."
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Competitive, me?
So, Saja and Kora had their first ever basketball practice today. We signed them up for Upwards basketball and requested that they be on the same team. This particular church decided to separate into a girls' league and a boys' league, instead of age-segregated leagues, so Kora, 34" tall and so many pounds, is on the same team, (and, I presume, playing against) full-grown Goliath second-graders. If nothing else, she will develop some scrap this year.
Both girls laughed until their voices gave out during practice. I know, I know, in high school, Coach Benton would have made us run ladders for such behavior, but it thrills me to hear my girls having so much fun. I hope sports will always be that fun for them.
So... at the end of the practice, the coach sat all the parents down to explain the Upwards rules: 1. Man to man defense always--decided by the color your daughter is wearing. 2. Substitution in order and fairness, not based on who's playing the best, so everyone gets the same amount of playing time (which actually plays in Kora's favor!). 3. The refs are volunteers, so if they miss a call, keep your cool, keep your attitude in check.
Eeeek. We haven't even started playing, and I'm already sensing a battle looming in the distance between my Christian self and my competitive self.
Bring on the Xanax!
Seriously, it will be fun. David found a soccer ball and ran himself silly dribbling back and forth across the court. Even Tyler discovered the mechanics of a bounce-pass tonight. Seriously. He's only 2. He did spend most of the night splayed across a volleyball on the floor as though he were a bridge. Tobias spent his time trying to dribble and then kick a basketball. I think we annoyed the other practicing teams. But you know what, I have a basketball team of my own in my house everyday! So if I find something that occupies all of them, like a gym full of balls, I'm taking full advantage of it!
(On another note, my hero husband rooted the pipes today, so no more sewage in the bathtub. Isn't that wonderful?)
Both girls laughed until their voices gave out during practice. I know, I know, in high school, Coach Benton would have made us run ladders for such behavior, but it thrills me to hear my girls having so much fun. I hope sports will always be that fun for them.
So... at the end of the practice, the coach sat all the parents down to explain the Upwards rules: 1. Man to man defense always--decided by the color your daughter is wearing. 2. Substitution in order and fairness, not based on who's playing the best, so everyone gets the same amount of playing time (which actually plays in Kora's favor!). 3. The refs are volunteers, so if they miss a call, keep your cool, keep your attitude in check.
Eeeek. We haven't even started playing, and I'm already sensing a battle looming in the distance between my Christian self and my competitive self.
Bring on the Xanax!
Seriously, it will be fun. David found a soccer ball and ran himself silly dribbling back and forth across the court. Even Tyler discovered the mechanics of a bounce-pass tonight. Seriously. He's only 2. He did spend most of the night splayed across a volleyball on the floor as though he were a bridge. Tobias spent his time trying to dribble and then kick a basketball. I think we annoyed the other practicing teams. But you know what, I have a basketball team of my own in my house everyday! So if I find something that occupies all of them, like a gym full of balls, I'm taking full advantage of it!
(On another note, my hero husband rooted the pipes today, so no more sewage in the bathtub. Isn't that wonderful?)
Monday, January 4, 2010
A good day and yuck, yuck
We had a really good day today. We took the twins to a speech screening, and it was determined that they are, in fact, a bit delayed in language development. When we returned from the appointment, the twins played downstairs in the playroom while I taught the older kids. Saja's reading Sarah, Plain and Tall right now, and I cried twice during the first chapter! I remember reading that book as a child, but it seems to make more of an impression on me now that I am a mother.
Then we went to the YMCA, where I kicked my tooshie in a Step class. What was I thinking?
Chris, my darling, sweet husband, has been doing yucky work today--I threw a trash bag over the deck to the "trash area," and, of course, the bag burst. I intended to clean it up, but I persuaded my sweet husband to do it instead. He didn't complain one time... except to say that our trash can always fills up about halfway through the week. NOW, if you can believe it, he's got a coat hanger pushed through the toilet pipes trying to remedy a clog. We think a toddler might have flushed a comb... or a pair of scissors... or socks... or a water gun... or the toilet-paper-roll-holder... or a shoe... (these are all things we have found in the toilet on previous occasions.) And finally, someone has to clean the poo out of the tub. It almost makes you gag to read it, doesn't it? It's not poo that a baby did because of the relaxing warm water, oh no... it's gross sewage poo, complete with soggy toilet paper, now dried and crusty on the surface of the tub. Apparently, it's been seeping up through the bathtub drain. The whole downstairs reeks of sewage.
But that's okay, because no guests are allowed down there.
We keep them upstairs, with our dead Christmas tree and our applesauce-covered chairs. Care for a visit?
Then we went to the YMCA, where I kicked my tooshie in a Step class. What was I thinking?
Chris, my darling, sweet husband, has been doing yucky work today--I threw a trash bag over the deck to the "trash area," and, of course, the bag burst. I intended to clean it up, but I persuaded my sweet husband to do it instead. He didn't complain one time... except to say that our trash can always fills up about halfway through the week. NOW, if you can believe it, he's got a coat hanger pushed through the toilet pipes trying to remedy a clog. We think a toddler might have flushed a comb... or a pair of scissors... or socks... or a water gun... or the toilet-paper-roll-holder... or a shoe... (these are all things we have found in the toilet on previous occasions.) And finally, someone has to clean the poo out of the tub. It almost makes you gag to read it, doesn't it? It's not poo that a baby did because of the relaxing warm water, oh no... it's gross sewage poo, complete with soggy toilet paper, now dried and crusty on the surface of the tub. Apparently, it's been seeping up through the bathtub drain. The whole downstairs reeks of sewage.
But that's okay, because no guests are allowed down there.
We keep them upstairs, with our dead Christmas tree and our applesauce-covered chairs. Care for a visit?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Laughter is good medicine for the heart
I want to laugh more with my kids. So I chased Tobias down the hall and back a few times before bed. Boy, was he thrilled. It was cute.
Tyler and Tobias each got a TAG, Jr. reader for Christmas. They played with them just before church. It's a toy that reads a book to them, but there's no pen or machine to break. (We'll see about that--people who use the words, "Unbreakable" or "Guaranteed" haven't met my kids!) Each page of these particular books we have play a Christmas carol or the Alphabet song. Tyler and Tobias, and occasionally one of the older kids, were jamming to the oldies all afternoon.
Speaking of, this morning, when we walked in church to drop the boys off in the nursery, Tyler wandered off. I finally found him 5 minutes later mesmerized by the rehearsal of the praise band. He looked as though he were in Heaven. If I had given him chocolate, he would have been in Heaven!
Kora told me her favorite part of the day was church, "because I can't remember any other part of the day."
David tried to sit in big church tonight, but when he started slinging his binoculars around up and down the aisle during the sermon, I decided we needed more practice before we attempted this.
Saja told us she wants to be baptized, but with all the other distractions of our misbehaving children, she, too, was whisked away to nursery. Our dramatic child, she lay on the pew in a pout, claiming her legs hurt too much to stand or even sit properly. So, off she went to play in the nursery, where the strength of her legs miraculously returned.
Now I listen to the silence and smile at my day. That, my friends, is my goal.
Tyler and Tobias each got a TAG, Jr. reader for Christmas. They played with them just before church. It's a toy that reads a book to them, but there's no pen or machine to break. (We'll see about that--people who use the words, "Unbreakable" or "Guaranteed" haven't met my kids!) Each page of these particular books we have play a Christmas carol or the Alphabet song. Tyler and Tobias, and occasionally one of the older kids, were jamming to the oldies all afternoon.
Speaking of, this morning, when we walked in church to drop the boys off in the nursery, Tyler wandered off. I finally found him 5 minutes later mesmerized by the rehearsal of the praise band. He looked as though he were in Heaven. If I had given him chocolate, he would have been in Heaven!
Kora told me her favorite part of the day was church, "because I can't remember any other part of the day."
David tried to sit in big church tonight, but when he started slinging his binoculars around up and down the aisle during the sermon, I decided we needed more practice before we attempted this.
Saja told us she wants to be baptized, but with all the other distractions of our misbehaving children, she, too, was whisked away to nursery. Our dramatic child, she lay on the pew in a pout, claiming her legs hurt too much to stand or even sit properly. So, off she went to play in the nursery, where the strength of her legs miraculously returned.
Now I listen to the silence and smile at my day. That, my friends, is my goal.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
I recently read an article that suggested making New Year's Resolutions that you can keep instead of unattainable (and thus, discouraging) goals of perfections.
Saja and Kora have done just that.
Once we explained to them what a resolution was, they caught on quickly and wrote things like:
1. Read Bible every day.
2. Eat Candy.
3. Watch T.V. every day.
4. Be nice.
These are resolutions... if not in the grain we normally associate with New Year's Resolutions and becoming a better person.
It's Jan. 2, and so far, so good.
Saja and Kora have done just that.
Once we explained to them what a resolution was, they caught on quickly and wrote things like:
1. Read Bible every day.
2. Eat Candy.
3. Watch T.V. every day.
4. Be nice.
These are resolutions... if not in the grain we normally associate with New Year's Resolutions and becoming a better person.
It's Jan. 2, and so far, so good.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Wardrobe Malfunction
Tobias and Tyler wore underwear today. They eagerly put them on, and they just as eagerly take them off. Today, Tobias went upstairs into Chris' office wearing them, and then he took them off. As if to see how proud Daddy would be, he began the tedious process of putting his Elmo underwear back on... both legs in the same hole.
Then he tried to walk.
Then he fell over.
Then he cried.
You can guess what Daddy did...
Laughed.
And then repeated the tale so the rest of us could enjoy it.
Then he tried to walk.
Then he fell over.
Then he cried.
You can guess what Daddy did...
Laughed.
And then repeated the tale so the rest of us could enjoy it.
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