Turning 30

What's the one thing you want to do most on your 30th birthday?
-skydive?
-bungee jump?
-spend the day with your friends and family, playing games and laughing?
-stand in line for four hours at the Memphis DMV waiting to record your new 30-year-old self on a license that will be expiring at the stroke of midnight?

You guessed it. DMV here we come!

I only noticed that my license would expire on my birthday three days before it did. In a family of seven, three days is not enough time to carve out four hours of congruent time. Anyone living in the Memphis area knows that's how long it takes to stand in line, hand over your paperwork, snap a picture, and pay for a TN license. A city of a million has three stations in which one can do that and a thousand other DMV-related things (including apply for a permit to carry a handgun. Two people in front of me did it while I was waiting--that's how I know.)

I decided that I should drive to Oakland, 20 minutes from my home, a city of 10,000, to be served more quickly. I went to the appropriate website to gather my paperwork the night before. After only one hour with my children in the morning, I left amidst chaos and crying--broken dishes and food on the floor, dirty clothes flying through the air in an effort to land on the ceiling fan, 2-year-old David tackling 16-month-old Tyler. I knew I wouldn't see them under 5:30 pm, a rarity in my life. So I departed bittersweetly.

Thirty minutes later, the Oakland DMV, who had only 10 people waiting, said I didn't have the right paperwork. I started, "But I checked the website..." She interrupted, "The website's wrong. You have to have a certified birth certificate or a passport to prove citizenship." So back I went to the house to gather 18 pieces of paperwork. Seriously. My passport's in my maiden name, so I had to have my marriage certificate. No bills are in my name, so I had to get Chris' license and bank statements. I honestly thought about bringing the whole filing cabinet, but decided it would take too much work. I'm kind of lazy.

So, when I walked inside to retrieve the CORRECT paperwork, David was running around naked. We were trying to potty-train him, and we had experienced mild success the day before by leaving him naked. But today, as I walked in, Kora was yelling, "David pooped!" And Chris was yelling, "Did you poop in the toilet, David?" And David (bless his heart) was saying, "Um, no. I pooped behind the T.V." I think I didn't even process what was going on until I saw Chris grab a plastic grocery bag like a pet-owner might. You know what I did? I kissed Chris on his cheek, thanked him for taking care of the children, and scooted out.

My second trip to Oakland was uneventful, except that the lady actually chuckled at the amount of paperwork I pulled from my purse. It was like Mary Poppins! It just kept coming. The woman after me was also getting a first-time TN license, and she handed over three pieces of paperwork. Oh, to be her. My purse would be lighter.

The office in Oakland was quite efficient. They were like a well-oiled machine, and even with my 40-minute mixup, I still beat Chris' four-hour wait at the Memphis DMV on Summer Ave. And I like my picture. Good thing, too, since I have my license for four years. I wonder if I'll look different in four years. I still have my very first license. Boy, do I look different from age 14! But wouldn't it be funny if I didn't?

Then I slipped in a visit with a childhood friend who now lives very close to Oakland. That was refreshing.

Then I sped to Life Choices, stopping briefly to grab a cucumber-hummus pita from Chris. It was remarkably good.

I ended up with a late client and arrived home late, to my chagrin, but Chris had a wonderful chocolate-covered-strawberry-cake waiting for me. Saja had slipped off with a piece of it before he frosted it. She was upset because I laughed when Chris told me that.

So then we ate cake.

Then we ate more cake.

Oh, it was so good, can I have just one more piece??!

Kora had made a wonderful drawing for me and even signed her name! I'm so impressed.

Saja drew a picture of Cinderella for me, but forgot to add legs, so she cut out legs and glued them on. That was thoughtful.

Then we played and went to bed. It was wonderful to turn 30.

I'm glad I didn't do it with a plastic grocery bag playing the poop scavenger hunt.