Did you make the coffee yet?

This week, we're blessed with the opportunity to attend a prayer conference at church. Chris would not have this opportunity had his classes fallen into place the way we had hoped, and I would not have this opportunity if our church did not prioritize childcare. As it is, we can both attend. Unfortunately, the start time this morning was 8:30 am. Tough to do when you have five kids to get ready.

Last night, I laid out all the kids' clothes and diapers for the morning. I stacked diapers in two diaper bags. I made five lunches and put them in the refrigerator. I crawled in bed about 11 pm. I woke up about 6:45 am, concerned that I wouldn't have quite enough time to meet my 8am departure time. I showered, got dressed, and even applied mascara. I thought about touching up my toenail polish, but it slipped my mind between the brushing of the teeth and the scrunching of the hair. I stepped out of my bedroom, savoring the quiet that is too often overrun by the chaos of my kids, and I heard rustling in the kitchen.

David.

Sigh. Please let it be a phase.

David had come out of his room (against the rules), opened the fridge (against the rules), and began eating his lunch for breakfast (I don't really have a rule about that.) His cookies were gone, and he had started on his raisins. He looked up at me and grinned the sweetest smile--no hint of mischievousness in it.

I fixed three bowls of cereal, two bottles, woke up everyone, changed their diapers, changed their clothes, brushed their hair, brushed their teeth, put on their shoes, put the babies in their carseats, made four more bottles (because they'd be at church for 6 hours), added two changes of clothes to the diaper bag, saddled myself with purses and backpacks and lunches and diaper bags. I picked up one 30-pound carseat child in one hand, one 30-pound carseat child in the other, turned sideways to shimmy out the hallway.

Chris walked out of the bedroom, showered and dressed in his scrubs. It was 7:45 am.
He said, "Did you make the coffee yet?"

??!!!!!!

I know Chris well enough to know that he wasn't asking me to make the coffee. He just wanted to know if he needed to make it (which he did.)

I'm proud to say the kids and I made it to the conference on time. Chris made the coffee and his lunch, drove his own car, and brought me a cup of coffee at 8:35 am.

We sat together in the back of the packed-out fellowship hall and heard a remarkable man of God speak about talking to God. I was exhausted, but satisfied.

I learned last year that I choose my attitude. I can have a happy day doing the same thing I did on a terrible day. When I view my role as mom and wife as a joy instead of a job, something I get to do rather than something I have to do, then I can enjoy myself.

Instead of being angry that I had to get everyone ready by myself this morning, I'm proud and thankful that God allowed me to have the patience, foresight, and organization to pull it off. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

Deliver us from evil

"Deliver us from evil." I pray a variation of this section of the Lord's Prayer everyday for each of my children. I believe God answers it everyday, and we may never know what might have been. Sometimes, however, we can get caught up in the imaginings of the land of "What if" until we torment ourselves.

We recently went to Mountain View, AR with Chris' family to enjoy a cabin in the mountains. Chris had an extra day off work, so our immediate family went up early. We found a one-room guest house in which the seven of us crammed. The babies were in separate playpens set up between the wall and the queen bed. There was just enough room between the bed and the playpens to shimmy through. Saja and Kora slept on the bed in normal fashion, while David lay crosswise at the foot of the bed. They loved it. I, of course, sat in the corner for an hour at bedtime to berate anyone who moved or spoke.

Then I slipped into the bathroom/kitchen/living room (yes, those are slashes) to visit with Chris for an hour or so before we went to sleep on the sofa bed. I had forgotten how terrible sofa beds are for the back. I felt a bar in my body no matter how I turned! Sleeping lightly, I jumped out of bed the moment I heard a cry from the crammed kiddie room. David had fallen off the bed. I anticipated the fall and had placed pillows and blankets on the floor to soften the blow, but he fell away from the padding and hit the floor anyway. So much for anticipation. "The best laid plans..."

This little cabin was located directly across the street from a recreational area that included a playground and a public pool. We took the kids swimming the next day and opted not to pay for the babies. While they do love the water, it just hurts to pay full price for what really is a burden in the pool. Our older children love to swim and do so very well with floaties (although the warning printed in bright blue on the orange armbands very clearly states, "These are not lifesaving devices.") I have very few reservations when swimming with their floaties. However, water wings of any type were prohibited at this public pool in favor of lifejackets, which are, of course, "lifesaving devices." I took the girls into the ladies' changing room to get ready, and Chris took the boys. When we entered the pool area, Chris was sitting under a pavillion with the babies. I beamed at him and rushed over. We had mounds and mound of swimming stuff for the seven of us piled three feet high on the picnic table! Chris first words to me were, "Hey. Um, have you seen David?" As I turned to scan the area, an older woman began to run in a panic from the other side of the pool.

A man next to us saw her and said, "What's wrong?"

All she could answer was, "Baby! Baby! Baby!"

She flung herself onto the ground at the edge of the pool directly at our feet, fishing in the water with her hands. The lifeguard still had not noticed. Chris and I stood frozen in observance, knowing that the "baby" they were rescuing was ours. We couldn't see him because he was right up against the edge of the pool, having eagerly jumped in sans lifejacket, grasping at the ledge just out of his reach, kicking his little feet, eyes wide with effort, managing a breath with every tip-toe push out of the water. I'm pleased I didn't see him. The images might plague me for years.

Happily, the man and the woman, who were strangers to us and strangers to each other, rescued my son. He didn't pass out, gag, or even actually realize he was ever in trouble. I hugged the stranger. We then spoke to David in very terse terms about the importance of wearing a lifejacket or floaties before ever jumping into the water, as well as asking permission to do so. We have had this conversation with him many times. Once, under my close supervision, I even let him spend some time underwater to teach a lesson (which apparently didn't work).

People say you can't take your eyes off of them for a minute. Even if you only have one child, that's impossible. What a burden you, mom, or you, dad, are carrying around to think that your child's life depends upon your watchful eye bearing down on them at every moment, keeping them within arm's reach at all times. What a wearisome motto.

I praise God for the freedom he allows us parents through His sovereign will. The Bible says, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Did you know that I am not perfect? Neither is Chris, but I won't expound. We cannot change the plans God has for David, no matter how watchful or worrisome we are. David cannot die because of our neglect outside of God's permission. Is that difficult to accept? Yes, it is. Is it hard to think that God allowed your innocent child to perish? Yes, it is. But hear this: you cannot live the rest of your life under an umbrella of shame and guilt if your mistake led to the demise of your child or one under your care. God ordains your days. Rest in that. Experience forgiveness, love, and grace from the Author of goodness.

David has been around for 28 months, and has given us more than one scare in the land of "What if?" (I try not to visit too frequently, or worry will overtake me and defeat my joy.) Kora broke her skull last year falling off a waterslide onto the concrete. And I WAS watching! I just couldn't reach her in the short second it took to mishandle the step and slip off onto her back six feet below on the hard concrete. That image still haunts me. But in God's grace, he spared her life and her physical well-being.

I don't know what God plans for my life and for the lives of my children. I have made it my job to enjoy them everyday and to teach them godliness. I pray they will learn to love God and to love others, and I do pray for their protection from mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual evil all their lives. "Deliver us from evil." I'm glad it's not my job.

Technologically Obsolete

My babysitter taught my 4-year-old how to text. So, D-daddy, that explains the message you got tonight: "Saja. Mama. Dad. David." She even knew how to type a period, and it's not even marked!

She said, "Mom, guess why your phone writes smaller than [the babysitter's] phone?"
I said, "Why?"
She said, in her best 'Duh' voice, "Because her phone is bigger!" What a cutie pie.

Do you know that I'm approaching 30, and I never once texted anyone anything until my babysitter got the feature? It's the only way to keep up with her, and she's pretty vital to my existence. But Saja, once she learned she could type messages to anyone in the world, wanted me to actually run down the entire list of contacts in my phone to decide to whom she could send her oh-so-informative-and-educational message. We are IN TROUBLE!!!

Kora's portraits

Why I'm not Hindu

I'm not a fan of bugs. Some people are. Kora cried real tears last night because David accused her of playing with a fake bug instead of a real bug. Believe me, it was fake. Tonight, on my way to put Saja to bed, I killed two crickets with one stomp each, then two LARGE spiders with several stomps each (they're resilient!), and then I discovered ants crawling on Saja's bed. Actual ants. Where she sleeps. *Gasp*

I folded up the sheets and told her to take them to the washer. I grabbed the ant spray and returned to her bedroom. Then I heard a massive shrill scream. Certain that Saja had been bitten by ants on the sheet, I ran out to help, but she cried, "There's a huge bug in the kitchen!" (Does it ever end, God?!) Sure enough, a gargantuan cockroach had found its way into our apartment and scared the britches off my little girl. Fortunately, I actually had in my hand at that moment "Ant and ROACH killer." I sprayed the little bugger til he scurried behind the fridge. Maybe, one day, someone will be fortunate enough to move the fridge and find the carcass of the Incredible Hulkroach behind it. But not I. Not tonight. Not with an ant colony setting up shop in my daughter's bed.

I sent her to the couch while I did something about it and finally traced the ants into the closet, which I have chained in order to keep the kids from destroying it. Upon opening the closet, I discovered a billion packing peanuts covering the floor. (Chris keeps packing peanuts in the house for shipping. The kids had in fact at some point discovered a way to enter the closet with the chain still attached, empty 13 gallons of packing peanuts on the floor, and leave undetected. Except I detected it. I just chose not to do anything about Chris' kids destroying Chris' closet with Chris' packing peanuts.) Try tracing an ant trail through a billion packing peanuts. Not fun at 10 pm. Not fun at all. Vacuum them? Great idea! Except they get stuck in the vacuum. You know what I did? I gently lay my hand near the peanuts and waved vigorously until they displaced and I could see the floor. Ants everywhere. I finally found a trail leading under the bookshelf (yes, we have bookshelves in our closets) and outside.

To be honest, who has the energy this late at night, or ever, really, to clean up packing peanuts and spray down ants? I left it. Saja's on the couch. Tomorrow, I'll ask the manager to find the anthill outside and demolish it. I hope she's not Hindu, either.

The B-I-B-L-E

New photos

First, let me say this: I love photos. I love digital photos. But I hate posting them in fifteen different places! I do have a few pictures I'd like to share on this blog, but to see the whole album, just look at Facebook, would you? It'll save me a lot of hassle! Or, you could get a CEIVA photo frame, and I could upload my pictures straight to your album. Or, you could view them at Snapfish.com. Or, you could view them at Samsclub.com. See my point? I've spent all afternoon uploading! (Thank God for Broadband!)

I have a friend whose house was destroyed by fire, and I kept her two girls last week. We also invited my niece to play. I love this picture with all 8 kids in my dining room--and Chris in the background on the computer! What a life!

My Facebook profile picture used to show me holding Tobias, and old friends thought I only had one baby. I worked hard for those twins, so I set up this shot to show off TWO babies on my Facebook profile.

Chris and I prettied up for our anniversary date to Chez Phillippe. I have to admit, the dress, although labeled two sizes bigger than what I normally wear, was a bit too small in the waist. I actually had to excuse myself to unzip it and take a deep breath. Was it worth it? Yes. Why have a pretty dress hang in your closet your whole life long?

How cute! Tobias and Tyler discovered that they could hold hands at breakfast. It just thrilled my soul.

I love this picture of Tobias and Tyler. The patriotic colors and stark contrast of the white blanket and blue playpen combine with the natural light to highlight my 8-month-old babies. I used this shot of Tyler to make the composite header (during which process, I saved over the original, changing the resolution to a measly 72 dpi! Noooooooo!)

When God is silent

I had an experience today that taught me about my Lord. Someone asked me what I ate on my exquisite 7th Anniversary Date at Chez Phillippe. I began, "I started with an appetizer of escargot in a red wine sauce." After the shock of snail set in and passed, I continued, "Then I had a roasted corn bisque with shaved truffles and truffle oil. The third course was day scallops." As I began to describe the asian-style dish, my audience became distracted (by my children--what else?!). I started again, only to be met with deaf ears. I tried a third time, a little more loudly, but when I again received no attention, I stopped talking. I thought, "What's the point?"

God works that way. Listen to the Lord when He speaks to your heart through the Holy Spirit, every time, no matter how insignificant or outlandish it may seem. When you stop listening, He stops speaking. How can you have a relationship with God if you never hear from Him?

I read today parts of Jeremiah and Nahum that highlighted God's judgment on nations that anger Him by disobeying His commands. I pray God delivers us as a nation from His judgment. Read about King Josiah! Wouldn't it be great if the United States had a president who could implement the same kind of things that King Josiah did?! I pray that God sees a family devoted to Him and His ways when He sees my family.

By the way, I finished my five-course meal with the day scallops in a soybean puree, chives, and vegetable pearls, followed by a medium-rare beef fillet with a sweet potato gratin. For dessert, I ate a lemon tart with blueberry coulis and cardamom ice cream. Cardamom! Who'd have thought it made a wonderful combination. The delightful experience was a melange of taste adventure and visual enjoyment. Chez Phillippe does not serve dinner--they serve an adventure in fine dining. You don't just eat, you indulge.