Family Paleo Trial Days 1-3

My brother lost 30 pounds eating a pound of bacon a day.

Seriously.

But he also cut a lot of other foods out of his diet. And almond meal replaced white flour in his house. Almond meal. As best I can tell, it's--wait for it--finely processed almonds, full of omega-6 fats. It often substitutes into recipes for gluten-free baked goods

Seriously.

So why am I, the authoritarian tyrant mom, making my children eat bacon and almond flour for a month? I could lie to you and say that I want my children to be as healthy as possible, that studies show processed sugar inhibits the effectiveness of the immune system, that studies link diet with bad behavior. All these statements are true, but not the reason we're trying this Paleo diet.

It all comes down to money, which is kind of ironic, because if you know anything about the Paleo diet, you know it's expensive.

One of my sons recently visited the dermatologist to have several warts frozen on his hands. She said there were too many to freeze, and maybe he should be on a vitamin because he had so many warts. She gave me a prescription for a cream that is actually manufactured to combat genital warts (oh, glee), but it turns out, the cream costs $300 for 22 grams.

It was then that my brother reminded me that when he and his wife cut sugar out of their diets, their warts healed. No embarrassing VD cream.

And that was enough. I'd been flirting with the idea of simply cutting out sweets to see how it affected behavior around here, and the wart issue pushed me over the edge.

I just wanted to jot a few observations for posterity's sake as we plow through the bacon grease.

Day 1
No noticeable behavior changes. I treated several warts with an OTC patch, but I left one untouched as the control in this experiment. The kids asked me about 45 times, "Can I have cereal?" to which I replied, each and every time, "No, we don't have any. Remember, we aren't eating gluten, sugar, or dairy for a month." After recreational volleyball, we ate like crazy--all Paleo, of course! I went to bed hungry, mentally calculating I must have consumed 3,000 calories or so today.

Day 2
Significantly WORSE behavior changes. A friend reminded me that our bodies were probably addicted to sugar and exhibiting withdrawal symptoms. I felt so exhausted at 10 am that I physically ached in my limbs. The children could not control their emotions. They whined all day. The girls brought home 10 fruit rollups from church, but swore to me they didn't eat any. We all went to bed early. As for hunger, I felt so full at dinnertime that I skipped our salad. As for exercise, I rollerbladed with the family for half an hour.

Day 3
It seems like behavior might be getting better. I felt great today, having only a fourth of my daily dose of caffeine. I still heard "Can I have cereal?" and "Why can't we have Little Caesar's?" far too much, and once, I heard, "I just want dessert!" So I made dessert--blueberry smoothies with coconut milk AND nutty cookies from bananas and almond butter. The next time I heard anything about dessert, I reminded them that we can still have certain desserts, and they--gasp--responded positively! As for exercise, we weeded and raked in the garden as a family for three hours.

If you're reading this because you're hoping to try a family Paleo diet, here are some tips from our three days so far:
1. Be prepared! Before you go to bed at night, make sure you have quick snacks on hand, like egg muffins, boiled eggs, apple muffins, nutty cookies, bacon dates, and trail mix. Aside from my sugar addiction, I think I'm addicted to convenience, too.
2. Expect to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. We buy processed foods for a reason--convenience. Now we have to process the food ourselves.
3. Expect to spend money. Let's face it, the government doesn't subsidize almond meal the way they do white flour. However, we were spending $200 on ("healthy") cereal and milk every 2-3 weeks in this house. Surely it can't be worse than that. But I spent $200 on meats, coconut products, almond products, beef jerky, and eggs to get us started. Then I spent $40 on vegetables the next day. Before Paleo, $240 at the grocery store could last 10 days. But my kids are really putting away the veggies now because there isn't another option! I love it! I expect, however, to be buying more vegetables in the next few days.
4. Buy Everyday Paleo by Sarah Fragasso. She has tips, motivations, recipes, and --drum roll!-- a 30-day meal plan with grocery list!
5. Don't be discouraged with the thought of buying specialized foods. You can successfully eat a healthy gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free Paleo diet with food you can find at Kroger, or even (gulp) Walmart. But if you want to replace those treats you're eating now with the Paleo versions, you'll probably have to slip into Whole Foods or order some specialty items, like ghee (what is that?!), online.

Next: Days 4-6